Trip to Utah!

 Last week I embarked on a trip that I will remember forever. I and five other paralyzed teenagers and a friend were able to go on an adaptive adventure trip because of a generous grant funded by the kelly brush foundation. My friend Danielle is the teen recreation therapist at Craig hospital and orchestrated the entire trip. She even helped me get a friend's flight last minute because my first plus one got Covid a day before the trip! The first night we arrived at the ranch after being mesmerized by the beauty of Utah we met Greg. An unassuming paraplegic who would soon become one of my greatest role models. 

The ranch was like something out of a movie, I couldn’t stop thinking exactly that. After waking up early and eating breakfast we embarked on a day full of swimming, paddle boarding, and adaptive mountain bike riding. When we returned to the ranch it was time for a campfire. Danielle proclaimed we were to have a goal for the week. I had no idea what I should say, but I knew I wanted to stay safe, and I knew I wanted to listen more than talk. So I said my goals are “to stay within my comfort zone” and “to not say things that don’t need to be said” 

Looking back the first goal was pretty silly (considering this was a trip intended to get us out of our comfort zone). Nonetheless, I was confident in my goal and stuck to it. By the end of the trip, I would come to realize both of my goals were sound ideas that had led to an even greater realization. Of course, I had my own goals on top of the previous two, I knew how fast the trip would be over so I did my best to bare down and live in the moment. I tried to enjoy everyone’s company, ask questions, and learn as many names as I could. 

As the trip progressed there became tension between friends. Two groups of teenagers slowly formed like little clicks and I felt neglected by some. I didn’t know what was happening and just left it to circumstance. One day I was so emotional I couldn’t talk to anyone. Finally, it was just me and Sondra our nurse. She comforted me let me cry and told me at the time I needed it, “it’s never about you”. I wanted to believe this was true, but I knew there were exceptions because part of my emotional distress had been actively caused by people crossing my own boundaries. 

Come to find out some of the tension in the air caused was an indirect result of my actions. I crossed a boundary that I was unaware of and couldn’t figure out where I had gone wrong. Thankfully Danielle was looking out for me and she helped me figure out where I had crossed the line. I apologized and everything was swell. At the end of the week, we were asked if we felt we accomplished our goals. I said “I felt my goals were a little ridiculous, but nonetheless I accomplished them, moreover I learned something new. I learned that I should just be myself so long as I respect others, myself, and my body”  

Meanwhile, Greg had been the perfect example of exactly this. He respects others, is genuine and adventurous as hell. One day he came to me and asked if I could teach him some yoga. We had an outstanding time, we laughed, talked, and most importantly got Greg into some positions he hadn’t been in for 13 years. He showed me that I was capable of helping others as well as he does. He showed me that I could help others by simply being myself.