Friends after spinal cord injury

 

    When I became a paraplegic the first thing I told my loved ones and friends was “I’m still me”. At the time it was all I wanted anyone to know about my accident, I didn’t want people to view me differently. My family was learning about my disability at the same rate as me, so there was not much confusion of how they should help or treat me. When I came home from my rehab hospital my friends greeted me with open arms and things were great, but as much as I wanted to pretend they were normal they weren’t. My friends didn’t understand how to help or what to do, but why would they? they wanted to pretend things were normal just as much as I did. 

    As I had to do in many situations after the accident I took charge and lead the way. I told my friends how to help and what I needed. I found myself reflecting on the words that had left my mouth when the accident first occurred “I’m still me”. I knew now that I wasn’t and I wanted to be treated differently, I wanted help and I wanted support. I wanted my friends to care for me as I had cared for them. 

    Before the accident I was the gatherer, the helper and the organizer. I enjoyed making a welcoming and accepting environment for the people around me. I would often take on my friends problems and try to comfort them. I would make sure the gang was getting together and that nobody was left out. Previously I was the person who prioritized getting together with others, but my priorities had changed. I put my head down and worked hard on my therapy and figuring out my new life. I isolated myself as I thought that was best, but I started to lose momentum. I needed some friends to give me the energy I was missing. 

    Through my experiences I realized that my time with my friends would be different, but it would still fill the same place in my heart. It is what I need to keep going. I strive everyday to help others and sometimes I need others to help me. Whether that is by the energy they provide or the comfort they surround me with, helping people is what makes my world go round.