My body is fragile

Over the past month I have started to notice how fragile my paralyzed body has become. These realizations began after a visit to my old elementary school. I had my heart set on climbing the spider web in my new paralyzed body. After climbing the web the swings seemed like a logical next step. Both experiences were thrilling at the time but after I couldn’t help but notice how banged up my body felt. My butt was sore, I had cut my knee open and jammed my foot on the swings. Apart from all the things I knew had happened I was worried I might have sustained injuries I couldn’t feel. 

A week after the elementary school incident I had an opportunity to go on a friends trampoline. After transferring in pretty handily I was careful not to scrape my knees on the mesh and get rug burn. I layed in the middle of the trampoline and grabbed my legs tucking into a ball. My friends bounced me and after a couple of bounces I was an out of control ball of clattering bones. It was fun but scary. Not something I would attempt again. 

Not only do I find myself uncomfortable doing adventurous activities I also find it uncomfortable to sit in my chair for extended periods of time. I get out of it any chance I get to stretch my back and legs. I also bring extra seat cushions to sit on the ground so that I have something to support my butt. Even though I can lay on my stomach and crawl a little bit on surfaces like grass or sand I still need that extra bit of cushion for my torso area otherwise I am uncomfortable. 

Recently I went on a two hour long canoe fishing trip with my dad. My legs were tight which caused some pain in my right hamstring. This led to me adjusting constantly to find a more comfortable position. After a while my butt started to hurt from sitting in the same position for too long. With both of these problems only becoming worse with time I had to head back early. It was disappointing to have to cut the evening short, but it was the only way I could relieve my fragile body. 

All of this being said there are some moments in all of these new adventures that I don’t have time to worry about how fragile I am. I only think of how exciting something is or how free I feel. The more kinds of active scenarios I can put myself in the less I will focus on the bad parts. Soon I will be going on a week long trip to Utah with all of the adaptive activities one could think of. ATV riding, kayaking and mountain bike riding. The best I can do is stay active, engaged and not worry about the things I can’t change.