Returning to Craig after one year

Over my spring break, I took the opportunity to go back to Craig hospital for my one-year visit. When I arrived I was gleaming with joy looking forward to the week’s plans and seeing my friends. Although when I entered the room on the first night of being back a different feeling washed over me. 

I was immediately immersed into what seemed like a past life. Emotions resurfaced and things felt heavy, but oddly comforting. I had spent many hours in this room thinking about my new life. Wondering who I was, why this had happened to me, and what the rest of my life would look like. 

On the first day of my visit, I met a new friend. In the brief moments I spent talking to him I learned about his hobbies, attitude, and uncertainty about the imminent future. It was like talking to myself 9 months ago before I went home for the first time. After meeting my new friend Matt I was full of life, I had returned home once again. 

The second day was more emotional. I got to see many of my old friends, but I felt as though my peers and I were not getting the care we deserved at the place I called home. Many of these feelings stemmed from my realization that the only way to get the best possible care in this world is to be 100% your own advocate. 

Part of being your own advocate in the SCI world is getting everyone’s opinions and then deciding for yourself what you believe is right. Unfortunately doing the right thing is not calculated. If it were everyone would do it. It is hard to decide what is right for you and even harder to do it. 

I learned many things from my week back at my second home. First, I need to decide what is right for myself and what I believe in. Second I need to have a higher standard for myself regardless of what others think. Lastly, I need to surround myself with things that give me energy so I can follow through with what I believe to be my purpose. Helping people.