The Unknown (My ICU Stay)

One year ago today I was in the midst of my stay at the icu after my life changing accident. Everything still felt like a dream, but I was making the most of it. The day following the accident I remember receiving the news that I might never walk again. I didn’t even flinch, I said “ok I’ll just be in a wheelchair then.” I wasn’t going to let that phase me. 

I insisted to my parents that we should start a gofundme and that I needed to go to the best rehab hospital, mind you I didn’t even know what a rehab hospital really was, all I knew was I was going to get better. My mom took charge and with the help of some new friends we landed on Craig Hospital in Colorado. 

Over the next few days I lied in agonizing pain doing interviews for the news and coming to terms with what little I knew about my new life. Even with my family, friends and favorite nurses Steph and Batman, the unknown was encroaching. At times the ICU was peaceful. Through the long dark nights faint noises of medical machines surprisingly soothed me, but I was scared of what was to come. 

The final day in the ICU I couldn’t bear to say goodbye to my nurses. I was balling dreading the next steps of my journey, yet I had no idea what they where. After a chaotic transport to Craig by airplane and med vans I showed up in a beautiful room greeted by positive people. I was surprised by this abrupt change of scenery, For some reason It was not what I had expected, it was much better! After this realization my sense of optimism was restored and I felt at peace once again. There where still many unknowns to come but the first was in the books. 

It’s natural instinct to fear what we don’t know, unfortunately thats what life is all about. The unknown, it is what makes life scary and fun at the same time. The best we can do is focus on the moment, the past is unchangeable and the future is unpredictable. Appreciate the moment for exactly what it is, not what you anticipated it being.